naahh.. people actually think im crazy .. but the truth is i'm just trying to get myself back on feet. Just today our boss told me that my resignation will be granted .. (no questions asked) . I actually don't know if this is a blessing. This year was really hard for me and finally 5 more days and i'm done. Although i'm still not sure if i'm done with the agony that i feel each day. I dont know maybe im just not counting my blessings or maybe im just too blinded by what i really want.

What do I really want .. i don't know.. well for starters i want to quit smoking . I want to earn money and continue my studies help my family and let my little sister take medicine course. . and of course travel. That's all i ever wanted but I just can't get it. Well I guess you cannot really get what you really want. So whats in it for me then. Is this all it??

I feel like quitting everyday.. each day..Anyway I actually failed one subject last sem and I'm so scared to fail again. I miss my cousins. I kinda hate my friends. I so much hate myself and I'm not sure if i'm gonna be able to carry on .. Well i guess.. i really cant anymore.

I'm looking forward to what would happen to me next year.. I guess i dont know whats the reason.. why am i still here.
School for me is okay however I just blew up my repu...by giving into i-dont-know-happened-all-i-can-remember-is-that-i-got-wasted-and-laughed-my-ass-off.
Lord If something better would ever come my way. Please let my acts not impede the blessings i need. Just Let it be.. allow me shine.. please

By the way I'm so glad i have rebecca and noemi .. kahit papano naaliw naman ako sa kanila .. Thanl you Lord!