Finally , school days over, just imagine i've been spending almost all of my time in the library memorizing articles, reading cases, and reading books that are related to the articles discussed which i think could help ( i hope so ).. well anyway our exam week was really hell for me. Lord knows i really did my best to study. However i know that there still are lots of reasons that i would fail the subjects. I finally then realized that maybe being lawyer is really not for me maybe it will just be a part of the dream that i used to have. Im scared to start from scratch again, im not sure what i would really want to do incase i dont continue my frustration. I sometimes wonder that maybe Veronika in Paolo Coehlo's felt the same way as well. To tell you frankly i actually have a perfect family, well almost perfect. My mom and dad are both leaders in Couples for Christ. My brother which is the smart one in the family, finally found his path to being a family man and im telling you hes actually doing a job on it. My sister who works in a bank is happy with her proffession as fr as i know she is . My other sister who just passed the nursing board exam is happy as well now all she have to do is to think about plan B. ANd my niece Dana.. the angel in our family. Michelle , my brothers' wife is happy working in a bank. Lord at this point , i really want to cry, i'm really giving up na ata. This blog that i have is full of frustrations, depressions lahat na ata.
i do have my friends who help me get through everything, but sometimes they contribute to my depression. I actually have a friend who keeps on telling me that i will be graduating from law school after 10 years (which could be possible incase i dont have money na talaga).
Lord if this is really not for me, im asking you to at least send me someone who will help me accept it.
Just today i heard from my classmate that 18 students failed in our obligations and contracts subject. Supposedly today i would find myself with my friends drinking and having fun. But I can't. Parang at some other point na guilty ako, kasi dapat ngayon nag prapray ako i believe na khit nalagay na grade ko dun pwede pa ring mabago yun. Miracles do happen.So i decided to just go home na lang and spend holyweek with my family, after all they are the reason why im really working hard for my studies although alam ko na minsan eh gastusera talaga ako. Last year was really hell for me. Start pa lang ng year masama na feeling ko. How would i be able to make the best of this year.
I just read Paolo Coehlo's book and there was a certain part of it that really struck me. That the moment a person knows that she has only few days on earth that death will just be around the corner to fuck her life up, that's the time a person would really value and see what life is all about. Live Love Laugh! my motto in life...I don't know what im gonna do without studying. Parang i already got used to it na. Lord please help me .
