Today we had our 2nd fight actually I think 1st fight... first was when I didn't teLL her about what paulie and I talked about. The reason behind is because the moment Paulie was telling me about what I've been telling her I realized that It would really be hard probably for joanne to keep a secret. Anyway my Gg told me about what actually happened---- I believe her. It's just that I don't know how to start it.. I mean how would I tell her what paulie told me when paulie said not to tell anyone about it. Paulie is my friend ( I guess... until she finds out about Joanne)...
i don't know what I'm going to do with my subjects now. Sometimes Joanne thinks she's the one to be blamed , i don't think she should be blamed for this... When I started dreaming about being a lawyer.. I tried my best to have more passion for my studies.. she was not yet there at that time.. my only motivator was myself and my family.. more on my mom i should say aheheh... and if i'm not doing my best to study not unlike how how I used to study before I cant blame her for that because in the first place sometimes i think most of the time I spend the rest of my day with her. I should really do somthing about this because sometimes I still can't picture myslef studying in UB.. I'm gonna cry I guess the moment that happens. And 2 weeks from now is exam week... I really have to do something abou this.. Just imagine in our one subject (property) which is 4 units.. no one passed in the class the highest was only 73... its really gonna be tough for me to catch up this finals.. God please help me .. geez i always say this everytime i update my blog.
Okay anough of that crap.. tomorrow I'm thinking of going early to the library but I can't because I have with me the money.. I can't bring it there.. Joanne is really so lucky to be given a big blessing.. Most of the time i don't want to be a part of it.. I don't want to her a bout what people will say incase they find out about our plans .. what shes been doing for me for the past few months... You know what I have never felt this way I hate being treated out sometimes.. kasi I don't know I look at it na parang utang na loob... pero she usually says she's just sharing whatever she has.. sometiems I kinda feel bad everytime she says this.. i know i should not feel bad .. i just feel like my life is miserable.. i've been unemployed for almost 2 months and as far as i know I have never felt this way before.. It's like I dont know what my next step is... my next plan... It's alreay Bar ops and I havent called up mayciel yet.. I hope she's doing well .. Oh How i wish i could talk to her tomorrow I'm sure she needs my support.. mayciel I know you can do it...
Oh yeah about last saturday uhmmmp I LOST :( and you know what i did i actually asked my kuya to cut my hair so i could have bangs needless did i know that he would mess it up.. now i dont know what to do with my hair.. i should have not trusted him.. nanette and arra told me he never cuts it perfect... always a 'wreck" i remeber nanette even cried before... anyway i know that my bangs will grow longer in a few weeks time...
You know what i feel today.. I feel that if ever we will break up... it would just be easy fore her to say it.. she is really experienced in this kind of relationship.. i'm not.. im trying my best and i hope she understands ... it's just that with this fight that we had today I feel like .. it would just be easy for her to leave me... Honestly .. i might be devasted in case that happens.. I love her .. I really do.. cris melai and donna even noticed that.. when i was telling them a short story about how we started going out...
from now on i call this blog .. jade.. oh how i wish that she really feels the same way.. i feel like she usually gets irritated .. because im clumsy.. geez i really have to change.. on second thought .. i did change.. yeah i sued to be organized with my time .. pero i dont know i just like it like this... happy everyday im with her....
ok i need to go to bed now .. i told her that i will be leaving the house early... ciao
bye jade .. till then
i don't know what I'm going to do with my subjects now. Sometimes Joanne thinks she's the one to be blamed , i don't think she should be blamed for this... When I started dreaming about being a lawyer.. I tried my best to have more passion for my studies.. she was not yet there at that time.. my only motivator was myself and my family.. more on my mom i should say aheheh... and if i'm not doing my best to study not unlike how how I used to study before I cant blame her for that because in the first place sometimes i think most of the time I spend the rest of my day with her. I should really do somthing about this because sometimes I still can't picture myslef studying in UB.. I'm gonna cry I guess the moment that happens. And 2 weeks from now is exam week... I really have to do something abou this.. Just imagine in our one subject (property) which is 4 units.. no one passed in the class the highest was only 73... its really gonna be tough for me to catch up this finals.. God please help me .. geez i always say this everytime i update my blog.
Okay anough of that crap.. tomorrow I'm thinking of going early to the library but I can't because I have with me the money.. I can't bring it there.. Joanne is really so lucky to be given a big blessing.. Most of the time i don't want to be a part of it.. I don't want to her a bout what people will say incase they find out about our plans .. what shes been doing for me for the past few months... You know what I have never felt this way I hate being treated out sometimes.. kasi I don't know I look at it na parang utang na loob... pero she usually says she's just sharing whatever she has.. sometiems I kinda feel bad everytime she says this.. i know i should not feel bad .. i just feel like my life is miserable.. i've been unemployed for almost 2 months and as far as i know I have never felt this way before.. It's like I dont know what my next step is... my next plan... It's alreay Bar ops and I havent called up mayciel yet.. I hope she's doing well .. Oh How i wish i could talk to her tomorrow I'm sure she needs my support.. mayciel I know you can do it...
Oh yeah about last saturday uhmmmp I LOST :( and you know what i did i actually asked my kuya to cut my hair so i could have bangs needless did i know that he would mess it up.. now i dont know what to do with my hair.. i should have not trusted him.. nanette and arra told me he never cuts it perfect... always a 'wreck" i remeber nanette even cried before... anyway i know that my bangs will grow longer in a few weeks time...
You know what i feel today.. I feel that if ever we will break up... it would just be easy fore her to say it.. she is really experienced in this kind of relationship.. i'm not.. im trying my best and i hope she understands ... it's just that with this fight that we had today I feel like .. it would just be easy for her to leave me... Honestly .. i might be devasted in case that happens.. I love her .. I really do.. cris melai and donna even noticed that.. when i was telling them a short story about how we started going out...
from now on i call this blog .. jade.. oh how i wish that she really feels the same way.. i feel like she usually gets irritated .. because im clumsy.. geez i really have to change.. on second thought .. i did change.. yeah i sued to be organized with my time .. pero i dont know i just like it like this... happy everyday im with her....
ok i need to go to bed now .. i told her that i will be leaving the house early... ciao
bye jade .. till then
