I thought i'm okay .. i dont know if its really true that man doesnt sem to be contented. The thing I was actually one of the first who worked here however i still wonder why i have the most few student. If i were to gauge my skills, i feel like my skills are okay. Sometimes i even hear my co workers use ny tactics . I dont know why is hould suffer to have only few student. Anyway I actually passed the audition . We have to no work from wednesday to friday, on friday i will be attending the workshop.. im kinda not in the mood to tell you all that happened last week. But i'll just try to let all my thoughts out. Oh by the way last week i found out that i have ulcer. I'm starting to lose hope and drift away again I hate this but i dont know how i am going to keep up with my feelings Lord please give me a reason to move on. I guess i really need to finish Cris' bus proposal. Good for her all she worries about is travelling. Yesterday my mom was getting mad at me again because of the money i owe her. I dont really want to quit this job... honestly i dont ... please lord give me a reason to stay. well actually i have lots of reasons but i feel like somnetimes i still need a bigger reason . Lord, please give me a reason to hold on. What pissed me off big time yesterday was that my sister cant find the letter that i actually wrote to myself. I promised to read that letter again come 2008. It's 2008 now but where am i . blood, bowed, i dont know i just hate it , i hate this , ciaO gtg .. see you when im alive

I have a new job!!.. I started working here on January 7.. i'm not sure if im gonna stay long in this job.. but i like the people here. My bosses are koreans and there okay.. Free internet access.. I just have a few students .. teehee!.. and its so good because back with my old job .. if only have few students.. then your doomed .. coz they wont pay you anything .. they only pay you by the amount of students that you have.. although i still need to get up 5am.. whew! there's one more problem.. My uncle was already asking me to start working in his real estate business .. actually when i talked to him over trhe phone.. i told him that i quit my job coz i wanty to try real estate , and he offered me to work in his company. You know what i kinda got confused when he said he will pay me only 6,700 a month, coz while i was working in my previous job he was offering me the same i get. Okay so about the real estate job, his office is still under contruction.. I kinda like the location of the office because it is near cathedral.. a famous church here in baguio.. geesh anyway.. i told him that i cant work yet this week and next week because its our exam week.. I just cant tell him that I actually found a diff job.. because i cant wait for 15 days without a job.. I dont know but I feel like I cant study If i'm not working, I feel like id rather work and study rather than be a full time student(even though someone offers to shoulder my schooling).. I can budget my time better if i work.. I hope Arra will pass the nursing board exam.. I sometimes think that she is our only hope.. Please Lord.. help her pass the test.


I miss my old student speciall Baek, Jason,ricky and Mr kim... (oh i cant remember his ringback tone .. again )

By the way I actually joined the Starquest search .. and i got nervous during the audition coz im not used to singing infront of people already. So yeah I failed the audition... anyway i have another comeback audition tomorrow,,, Im not sure though if i shouLd go.. My passion for music kinda drifted away when i started to realize that I might not get rich if i only sing.. Rich people watch me sing .. id rather be rich than sing.. so probably that was the reason why i failed the audition~ it was because i feeL that i might get rich if i sing. Singing is a passion, it requires discipline and faith... I dont know where i could get that.. right now im not even that motivated to review..and im starting to be spend a lot again.. i hate myself..sometimes..


Ok ill go on saturday! for the AUDITION!


Oh by the way hayyy i dont think id be able to have a boyfirnd this year. Melai and I was talking about having a boyfriend this year.. just for fun... but i cant do it just for fun.. not having a boyfriend for 8 years( melai said its 10 years) is not that easy.. and i cant just waste my time with a person whom i cant rely on.


I have to budget my time ...
oh by the way I need to post a year end detailed run down of what happened to me next Year!
next post.... That would be tough tough,,, (reminiscing shit and evrything) ...oh yah i remember.. Im toUgh Pink!

I just don't know why this show matters to me a lot . Well i guess it also helps me motivated to move on . . . .

naahh.. people actually think im crazy .. but the truth is i'm just trying to get myself back on feet. Just today our boss told me that my resignation will be granted .. (no questions asked) . I actually don't know if this is a blessing. This year was really hard for me and finally 5 more days and i'm done. Although i'm still not sure if i'm done with the agony that i feel each day. I dont know maybe im just not counting my blessings or maybe im just too blinded by what i really want.

What do I really want .. i don't know.. well for starters i want to quit smoking . I want to earn money and continue my studies help my family and let my little sister take medicine course. . and of course travel. That's all i ever wanted but I just can't get it. Well I guess you cannot really get what you really want. So whats in it for me then. Is this all it??

I feel like quitting everyday.. each day..Anyway I actually failed one subject last sem and I'm so scared to fail again. I miss my cousins. I kinda hate my friends. I so much hate myself and I'm not sure if i'm gonna be able to carry on .. Well i guess.. i really cant anymore.

I'm looking forward to what would happen to me next year.. I guess i dont know whats the reason.. why am i still here.
School for me is okay however I just blew up my repu...by giving into i-dont-know-happened-all-i-can-remember-is-that-i-got-wasted-and-laughed-my-ass-off.
Lord If something better would ever come my way. Please let my acts not impede the blessings i need. Just Let it be.. allow me shine.. please

By the way I'm so glad i have rebecca and noemi .. kahit papano naaliw naman ako sa kanila .. Thanl you Lord!